New Found Grace
by ChloeRhiannonX
Summary: Peeta Mellark. Of course I knew his name; who didn't know his name?


**New Found Grace**

My eyes scanned the crowd of dancers. It wasn't that I was looking for anyone, or so I told myself, I was just bored. This was not my usual crowd amongst the rich aristocrats and their 'arm candy'. I watched as the men swung the girls around the glossed floor, not giving a care in the world. Why should they? Almost each person in this room had always had more than enough money to provide for themselves and their family. I wondered if any of them knew what it was like to be so hungry your insides felt as if it was eating itself. Of course the answer was no. I was positive I was the only one who knew such a pain.

I continued to stare absently at the dancers. Only one young man had asked me to dance, but I had feigned a headache. I did not want to be swirled around like the other young women in the room, all desperately trying to drag their young partners onto the dance floor to waltz. They of course obliged to do such a thing and thus the dance floor always felt a little over crowded. I was not one of those girls, but this burley boy was not getting the picture. He asked me several more times before I had finally snapped at him. His eyes were not horrified by my outburst, more twinkling with amusement as if this was just a game to him.

This was an annual event. I had watched my father getting all spruced up at home year after year once we had started to eat properly again. Prim always begged for him to take her along, she had always wanted to attend the ball the Snow family threw in honor of their employees. I wasn't sure what my father did for a man like Snow, I had only met him once and it was not a memory I was fond of. He smelt of roses tainted with blood, as if he had just been a killing spree and then buried his dead. It made my stomach churn. But whatever my fathers business with that man was, he refused to let my sister and I near it.

When I had received the invitation in the mail four days ago, my mind was not set on going. I point blank refused as I sat on my mothers sofa, hugging one of her many throw cushions to my chest. Prim had tried her best to encourage me, even offering to go in my place, but if dad had never wanted her to go, and then neither did I.

It took a lot of convincing from my mother, who I hadn't spoken to in almost four years until that point, to actually leave for the party. I guess there was a part of me that was curious to see what all the fuss was about. And I was hoping to...

I saw him. His blonde curls were unmistakable and his bluer than blue eyes could not be missed. His hearty laugh carried its way above the sweet melody of the music from the orchestra on the opposite side of the venue, floating its way towards my ears. I couldn't help but stare, watching as he talked with ease with other guests. I saw him making his way to each individual table, never once the smile leaving his beautiful face. My stomach dropped when I realized he was going to have to stop at my table too.

_Peeta Mellark._

Of course I knew his name; who didn't know his name? Just studying him from across the room was enough to tell that his posture was easy-going. He was in his natural environment, surrounded by people he could charm with his easy flowing words. The way his chest rise and fell with each joke shared, and the way his shoulder muscles stretched beneath his white cotton shirt, it was enticing.

I turned my head, hoping that boy would jump in and ask me to dance again, but he was nowhere to be found. I tried striking up conversation with the old gentleman who had been seated next to me, but he was already engaged with the man on his left. I thought of making a quick dash to the bathroom, but I had to pass him on the way there. Or maybe I could-

"Hello, Miss Everdeen," his voice was suddenly nearer than before. In my attempt to plan a getaway he had snuck up on me. "I wasn't expecting you to show up tonight, this doesn't seem like your crowd." I stared into those ocean deep eyes. They were a never ending stream of kindness. Kindness and secrets. No one would ever suspect that such a polite boy like Peeta Mellark would ever poses such dark thoughts, that's what made him the perfect subject.

"It is not, Mr. Mellark, but I received an offer I simply could not refuse," I replied, vaguely motioning to the room around us. He reacted as if he had only just noticed it. His eyes swept the floor before resting back on me. I would never feel uneasy under his gaze. Peeta cocked his head, obviously just as bored as I was. He could seem interested on the outside, but no young man could ever have enjoyed the festivities.

"I heard about your father," he spoke softly, as if he might burn my skin with his poisoness comment. "I am sorry for your loss." If he had been any other person I would have ripped out their throat with my teeth for saying such a stupid thing. Of course they were not sorry. But this was Peeta Mellark, respect and loyalty burst from him pores. He couldn't say a bad word to anyone he knew, he was always the bright side.

I nodded my head in reply, my eyes wandering back to the dance floor. The tune had slowed down considerably, and I think Peeta took that the wrong way. He held out his calloused hand and asked me to dance. I was nothing but hesitant. I stared up at Peeta again, hoping he understood how badly I didn't want to be center of attention, which I surely would have been if I was seen dancing with one of the most important people in the room. But no matter how hesitant I was, Peeta was much more persistent. His hand stayed in front of my face until I took it in my own, squeezing tightly. I must have been the only girl in the room who would even consider turning down a dance from Peeta Mellark.

My head spun as he twirled me under his arm. The room blurred and my eyes swam in their sockets. Peeta held me tight, one hand on the small of my back, the other holding my right hand in the air. I tried to rest my spare hand on his shoulder but it ended up on his neck. He gave a throaty chuckle, readjusting my hand as I still tried to gain focus. All I could see was his eyes, my forehead somehow resting against his. I felt as if I was drowning in the deep blue of his irises, the never ending void of water surrounding me as Peeta swayed us back and fore on the spot.

"Why is Cato staring at you?" He asked, no longer staring at me. I blinked, trying to subtly look in the same direction as him. He slowly spun me again, this time not so dizzying. I saw the young man from before; the one had asked me to dance. He was staring. My stomach clenched and I felt Peeta's grip tighten on me as both his hands moved to my waist, his lips brushing my earlobe, "He's bad news." I knew when Peeta said it that he meant it. And Cato looked like bad news to me. His deep set eyes never left me, a sour smirk on his lips. My insides clenched. I tried to not look at him, but Peeta had pointed him out now.

I moved my mind, focused on the scowls of the other girls in their fancy brand names. If Prim had been here she would have been able to tell the Dior from the Chanel. All I could tell you is I was the only one with a dress from Sears. The looks of jealousy reached me. I didn't so much mind dancing with Peeta, but it was the girls who had been hoping to dance with him that bothered me. Their constant staring was just as bad as Cato's. It made me feel faint. Being center of attention was not an enjoyment for me like it was for Peeta. I craved for a secluded corner, far away from the public eye.

"It was me," Peeta whispers as the song comes to a finish. I try to break away, but his grip holds me firmly in place as the next tune floats around us, just as slow as the previous. "I sent the invitation for you to be here, Katniss."

"Why?" I ask breathlessly. I swallow down the rest of my words, knowing this is not the time or place to bring up old quarrels.

"I had to see you, Katniss." His voice sounds pained. His usual sweet demeanor had been washed away. "It's been four years. You didn't call like you said you would. I had no way of contacting you for four whole years. You up and left and-" Peeta cut himself off, my eyes scanning his face for a reason. He looked nervous, biting his lower lip so hard it started to bleed. I sucked my own lips in, hoping he wasn't thinking about kissing me. Dancing with him was bad enough.

I moved my head, looking over his shoulder and spying the wooden string instruments. I tried working out how much money it would cost to throw a party like this, knowing that I may not even make that much money in my life time. The hall that had been rented was that of a hotel, most of the guests having rented rooms out for the evening. It was a magnificent room with high arched windows and a curved ceiling. The thick mauve carpet ran around the whole room, with wooden flooring squared out at one end by a small stage to allow for the dancing. The tables were placed in a systematic way, allowing all the guests to mingle with one another. Each table had been decorated with china plates and silver cutlery that gleamed under the lights of the chandelier. The knives and forks were not like the bent-out-of-shape ones I was used to seeing at home.

An old man in the corner caught my eyes. He had a thick white beard and his hair was thinning with a pale and almost gaunt face which did not match his tailored suit. Snow. The man who had thrown this whole thing together; my fathers employer. It was rumored he was terminally ill, and his appearance confirmed it for me. He had the face of an ancient man who had been dying for some time, but was holding on for what it was worth. I watched him a bit too long, his face turning towards me. He gave a sinister smirk in my direction, causing my body to tense. The dark tunnels he called eyes were lifeless and far too big to sit above his hollow cheeks. I blinked my eyes away from his, feeling myself magnetized towards him. I didn't want to risk having to speak to the man.

"If I told you I missed you, would you object?" Peeta spoke into my ear. It was a ghost of a whisper, hoping the other couples around would not hear.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you do not mean it, Peeta," I replied maybe a little too harshly, but it was the truth. "You didn't miss me, you just thought you did. You can't possibly have missed me when there was nothing to miss."

"There was everything to miss." I pulled my face back from where it had been resting against Peeta's collarbone. He didn't mean his words, I was sure of it, but his eyes told another story. The deep blue looked more like home the longer I stared. Memories of being watched by them for years haunted my thoughts as the ballroom melted away from me.

_"You know he fancies the pants off you," I heard Madge say beside me. I was trying too hard not to blush at having caught him staring at me again to pay too much attention to her. "You should go over and say hi or something." She had been adamant since the first time I had told her of my creepy stalker that I should make a move on him. Peeta Mellark had been watching me from a far every day since the beginning of freshman year. It made me scowl at first. Just another Merchant making fun of me. Madge was the only Merchant I could stand. But over time I grew used to catching him staring and it started to make my face flush out a little. _

_"If he wanted anything to do with me," repeating the words I always told my only friend "he would come over here and do something about it." _

"You look lost," Peeta mumbles above the now fast paced tune. We were still swaying back and fore as if it was still a dreamy composition. "Let me help you find you." He took my hand in his again and weaved our way through the crowd back towards my seat. Most of the men and their wives who had been at my table had filtered out now, moving around to meet others like their stuck-up selves, leaving me and Peeta mostly free to sit and talk. I re-took my seat, but Peeta stayed standing, resting his hands on my shoulders and leaning down so we were eye-level again. "Ten minutes, meet me in the lobby. Ten minutes." I nodded my head, but Peeta didn't see, he had already turned his back and was returning to the table with his parents on the opposite side of the room. I supposed he had to tell people he was leaving; I could easily just slip out. No one cared for me.

Grabbing my clutch bag-where the contents were only my cell, the invitation and some gum-from the table and started to make my way towards the door. I thought I could make an easy get away and just wait for Peeta outside the large hall, the atmosphere already too stuffy for my clouded brain to handle, but it was not that easy. I spied Cato once again in my peripheral vision. He was making his way towards me in a diagonal from where he had been before. I tried to ignore his presence, but he reached the door before I did. His large form blocked my only exit strategy.

"May I walk you home?" He offered, a smile on his face which didn't quit meet his looming eyes.

"No." I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Then at least let me call you a cab."

"No." Cato frowned. He didn't understand that I didn't want anything to do with him. Not only because Peeta had warned me against him in what could possibly have been a jealous moment, but because there was nothing about Cato that made me feel okay. He made me feel uneasy, even more so now that I knew he worked for the same agency as Peeta.

I opened my eyes, staring up into his, not backing away from his dominance. "Cato, I wish for you to move out of my way and let me leave by myself-"

"But it is not safe for such a beautiful woman to be wandering around outside by herself, you could get hurt."

"Well it is a good thing I won't be by myself, isn't it?" I quickly countered, not thinking about my words. "I have a gentleman friend coming to meet me outside." Cato's eyes moved above my head, no doubt searching for Peeta. He seemed to like Peeta as much as Peeta liked him. He set his mouth into a firm line, his eyes trailing back down to mine. I gave him the coldest stare I could muster. It worked; he stepped aside at any rate. I didn't give it a second thought as I barged past, out into the empty hallway. No one was around the entire walk back to the lobby. All the staff had disappeared and all of the guests were still enjoying themselves with the festivities.

I took a seat in one of the chairs, noting how it was comfier than any chair I had ever had at home. It felt warm beneath my fingertips as I drew patterns in the easily influenced blue material it was covered in. I wished I could have kidnapped the chair, if nothing else. The whole lobby looked nicer than my entire house. The walls were white marble that bled onto the floor, covering every inch. The main desk was made of a shiny blue metal that reflected everything it saw. The girl working at the desk wasn't looking too happy as she talked on the phone about a booking. It was the only noise around until I heard the heavy clopping of feet on the cold, hard floor. I looked up from the direction I had come from to find Peeta. His face lit up as he saw me sitting down. I stood up to greet him, but as soon as a smile reached my face he had his lips on mine. I felt the force of the kiss, almost tumbling backwards at his eagerness. It was long awaited and needy on both parts. We had a lot of lost time to make up for.

"Come upstairs," he mumbled, against my lips, backing away only enough to speak. I didn't answer, pressing my hips against his. My lips found his once more and before I knew it we were falling into the elevator, oblivious to the couple who were getting out. It had been too long since I was last wrapped up in Peeta's arms, his strong hold protecting me from the harsh realities of the real world.

Four years previously I never would have thought that this... relationship Peeta and I had would be such a rare thing. I knew we were parting at the cross-roads, but I had no idea it would be so long before I conjured up the courage to come home. I knew he would have been there tonight, I knew his family fell under a different division to my fathers, but they were both under the same company. Subconsciously I knew I had accepted the invitation purely to see him again. It had been too long.

My back hit the door, my hands tangled in Peeta's curls, his hands grabbing at my waist, trying to hoist me up, but I wasnâ€™t as weightless as I had been before. Back in the days when I had been a starving teenage girls Peeta had been able to hoist me over his shoulder like a sack of flower at the bakery, but I had filled out more in the past years since I had been living on my own at college. I had my own money to feed myself and didn't have to rely on my parents poor earnings.

Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a small card that he slipped into a grey machine beside the door. He pulled away panting, waiting for the little light to turn green. I quickly took advantage, swapping us around so I had him pinned to the door. There was an almost silent beep and Peeta pushed down on the handle. I smiled, my hands falling to my waist. He held the door open to his suite and the butterflies in my stomach went insane. It felt as if my insides were throwing a party of their own and I was the angry neighbour who wanted them to turn down the music.

I stepped into the living room, the view of the city stretching as far out as the eyes could see, with the added bonus of everything beyond too. I held my hands on the back of the white sofa, enjoying myself just a bit too much. I had never been in a hotel suite before. Peeta tossed his black coat beside my hands, but I kept my back to him. He pressed his chest into me, his arms snaking their way around my waist and resting just above the wet spot on my panties. I bit my lip, rolling my eyes into the back of my head as I tried not to fall into this old trap. I had walked this path before and it had only ended in misery.

Hot kisses were trailed up from my right collarbone, along the back of my neck and down the left side. I was faintly aware of a moan being shared between us, but I wasn't sure who it came from. I was too busy trying to swallow down everything else to escape from Peeta's clutch. The scene was too familiar. We had ended up here again.

_"Hey, stalker," I smiled. The courage was from the alcohol, it must have been. Nothing else on the planet would have made me approach Peeta Mellark and lean seductively against the railing on the deck of Madge's summer house "What, cat got your tongue?" I smirked, leaning my body forward. Peeta opened his mouth to respond, but I ran my finger along the muscle in his mouth. "Geddit?" I hiccupped, "Cat got your tongue; my name is Katniss." I started to giggle at my own joke before almost stumbling down the wooden staircase that led to the garden. _

_"Maybe I should get you to bed, Katniss," Peeta bit his lip, looking around as if he wandered who was watching us. There weren't many people around; only the select few Madge had invited to stay with her for the summer. It was usually just me and her, but this year she had invited a couple more people because we would have all gone our separate ways by September. When Madge had told me she had invited Peeta Mellark I had freaked. But now, standing on the deck with him, the alcohol having taken over my system, I felt relieved that I could finally have it out with Peeta about his constant staring. _

_"I'll go to bed if you come with me," I giggled, my mouth brushing his ear. He was significantly taller than me; I had to reach on my tip-toes to get that high. I stumbled right into his arms, the world spinning around me. _

"I really did miss you, Katniss," Peeta mumbled. His hands had a tight grip on my waits now, his fingers digging into my skin through the cheap material of my dress. His head rested on my left shoulder, his forehead pressed to my neck.

"What did you miss?" I asked, my eyes fixed on a spot in the distance. I tried to ignore our reflection in the window, but when Peeta lifted his face to look in the same direction, I saw the wildness in his eyes. He wanted this. No matter how badly hurt we had once been, he would always come back for more. There was a deep need in his soul, a need he was sure only I could fill. He had told me before, but I had never believed him. I had never understood what he meant. But now, after such a long time apart, I understood. I needed Peeta.

"I missed your hair," he murmured, running his fingers through the waves of my dark locks. "You wore it down tonight; just the way I like it." Peeta pulled my hair into both his hands, twisting it and depositing it over my shoulder. My breath hitched at his touch to the back of my neck. "I missed how wet I can make you by pressing my lips right here." And then he proceeded to press his lips to the apex of my shoulders. I could feel the stream of heat between my thighs growing. "I missed your beautiful body," Peeta continued, his nimble fingers tugging on the zip at the base of my neck. The dress sagged at my shoulders, Peeta's hands moving to push the sleeves down my arms. The material puddled around my feet, leaving me almost completely exposed to the boy I was more than willing to give myself to once more.

I had always been defensive. I believed that once you grew attached to something that it was taken away from you. It was the way it had always been for me growing up. I never made room for long-term relationships with anyone other than my family. I had a friend or two, but not even Madge was close to me. She only knew the surface of the girls I was. But Peeta was different. He didn't exactly change me because my walls still stood tall, but he managed to get me to open a door for him. He saw a side of me that I had never let anyone else see.

"I missed your eyes." Carefully, Peeta spun me, holding onto my hands as I stepped out of my dress and kicked it aside. He lifted his right hand, his fingers crooked as he ran them from my eyes to my chin, cupping it gently. "I missed your kiss," Peeta said before pushing his lips to mine once again. My posture faltered and I fell back, my bum hitting the headrest of the couch. Peeta bent his shoulders to keep our lips connected and I tugged on the collar of his shirt, drawing him closer to me. I didn't want to be apart.

It was Peeta who pulled away from me first, but the need in his eyes was now a hunger. He grabbed my legs and swung them around, throwing my body back to face the window. I lowered myself onto the sofa cushions and Peeta hurried to kneel before me, pressing his back into the glass coffee table. His eyes grazed over my body, the body which I had always felt self-conscious about. There was something about Peeta that made me forget what I looked like. All of my faults and my flaws meant nothing when Peeta looked at me with his big, blue eyes. I knew he had just as many as me underneath his clothes.

_'We are twin souls kept apart,' he had told me one drunken night. 'These bodies are just our vessels, so who cares what they look like?'_

Peeta reached for my foot, carefully unclasping the buckle and tossing the stiletto aside. He repeated it with the second one, plunging forward on his knees and little pain on his face from where his prosthetic must have been rubbing him by now. His lips connected with my right ankle and his kissed his way up past my knee and up my thigh. I sank lower, allowing him better reach as he kissed his way up my stomach, avoiding my navel, and continuing over the lacy pattern on my bra. Up my neck, across my chin, resting against my lips. He hovered, his hands each resting on my thighs, his breath on my lips driving me crazy. I wanted him.

"Can I take this off?" He asked, hooking one finger under my bra strap and snapping it like a middle schooler. I nodded though Peeta's face remained just as close to mine as it was. He reached both hands around my back. I arched to let him have better access. Peeta fiddled for a moment-my memories of him never being able to unclasp my bra before surfacing-before the straps fell down my arms. He pulled the lacey material away from me, tossing it to the floor with my shoes. His hand cupped my right breast, palming my already erect nipple. I involuntarily gasped under his touch.

Rolling my eyes back into my head, my neck lolling to one side, I tried to focus on my breathing, but my mouth opened and moans escaped as Peeta latched his lips onto my hardened mound. My fingers laced through his hair, forcing his mouth to never cease. His tongue teased my sensitive peeks, moving between the two while his fingers continued to roll the other nipple.

"Peeta!" I called out, the pleasure building a knot in my stomach. He shifted between my legs, turning to face me. I stared down at him through hooded eyes, my breath heavy and my chest heaving. He looked pleased with himself.

I raised my shaky hands, undoing the top three buttons on Peeta's shirt. It wasn't fair for him to see so much of me when I saw so little of him. He stole my hands in his, yanking my wrists so I fell down on top of him, our mouths crashing together in the heat. Peeta held my body to his, his fingers gripping my sides as his tongue invaded my mouth, exploring every cavern he could find. I tried to give him as much passion back, but Peeta was ahead of me. He rolled us over so I was beneath him-my head skimming the side of the coffee table-holding himself up on one elbow so he could undo the rest of his buttons. I quickly tugged off the sleeves for him, throwing it carelessly away. I rolled us back, straddling his hips as my fingers danced along his torso. Peeta's skin was far from perfect, covered in a patchwork of scars from the not-so-easy life he lived. Each scar held a memory. I didn't know them all, but I knew a lot. I also knew that there was never this many last time. I ran my fingertips over as many scars as I could, my pinky gliding along my favorite one. It ran from his just under his heart and curved down the side to his belly button. That scar held the story of the first time I took Peeta to the woods with me. It was one of the few non-painful memories we shared.

Peeta thrusted his hips, his groin hitting mine and we both let out low groans. He was growing impatient with me now. I tried to sexily smirk down at him, but I suspect my face couldn't quite pull it off, even in a moment like this. Instead Peeta sat up, pushing me off him so he could clamber to his feet. He stared darkly down at me as I still laid on the floor; the look of a master looking down on its new toy playing on his face.

Before I could react, Peeta had already scooped me up in his arms, tossing me back onto sofa with carelessness. His expert hands undid his own belt as I helplessly watched. I gave a dry swallow as his pants fell to the floor, Peeta kicking them aside as if to not get in the way. The first thing that drew my attention was the metal machine that took up half of Peeta leg, from just below the knee to the floor. I knew he had it, Prim had informed me of the accident, but this was the first time I had seen it. This was the first time I had seen him since then. I tried not to stare, averting my eyes a little further up his body, trying not to notice anything wrong.

I saw he had a wicked grin tugging on the corners of his mouth when I managed to pull my eyes away from Peeta's tented boxers. I had seen him like this countless time before, but I still felt the rush when he leaned his body over mine, covering me like he was a blanket.

"Are you wet for me, Katniss?" He purred in my ear. I ran my hands over his biceps, my nails leaving slight marks. Peeta pushed his boxer-clad penis against me again, earning himself another moan from me.

"Check for yourself," I managed to mumble. It had been a long time since I had been intimate with anyone. There had only been one man almost directly after Peeta, but it meant nothing to me. I was just trying to forget. It was impossible to forget.

Peeta rebalanced himself on one elbow again, his right hand trailing two fingers from my lips in a beeline to the top of my panties. I could feel the wetness spilling through the cotton between my thighs, Peeta no doubtedly knew I wanted him. I always wanted him. He could read my signals like a book he had memorized every page of, just as I knew the same for him. We were familiar.

Not bothering to wait, he dipper his hand beneath the material and ran two fingers over my moist slit. I gasped in almost surprise, not expecting Peeta's cold fingers make me burn so much. I ached for more.

"Definitely wet." He said, running his tongue over my bottom lip.

"Peeta, please," I begged.

"What do you want, Katniss?" He asked, his fingers rubbing circles on my clit. I moaned. "Tell me what you want me to do." Peeta rested his forehead against mine, but not in an affection manner. He was more dominant, demanding of me than he was kind and sweet like the boy he was outside of this. "I don't know what to do if you don't tell me."

"Fuck me," I mumbled, but my voice was throaty.

"What was that?"

"Fuck me."

"What?"

"FUCK ME!" I yelled, my insides clenching as Peeta continued to rub and insert a finger inside me. It was too much too soon. My body was unprepared and I cried out Peeta's name as I came undone beneath him.

Not wasting any time, Peeta had already removed my panties as I came down from my high without me even noticing. He got back to his feet, dropping his undergarment to the floor, releasing his full arousal. It had been too long, I realized. I reached my hand out to grasp his full length, but his own hand stopped me, grabbing my knuckles and kissing them gingerly. He held his hand out and I took it in my free one. Peeta helped me sit up, my legs parted on the sofa so he had room to kneel between. I draped my legs across his upper legs, opening myself up as far as I could on the cramped space. Peeta wasted no time, knowing every second we had together counted. He lined up the head of his penis with my opening and plunged in. I cried out in pleasure, every part of me tightening around Peeta. I dug my nails into his shoulders and he hissed deeply, sliding his tongue into my already open mouth as I gasped for breath.

Peeta wasn't slow like the first time we had been together. He was quick, needy. He pounded himself in and out of me as I held his body close. The feeling was overwhelming. I had definitely missed the feeling of euphoria that Peeta always brought with him. He knew exactly what my needs were and he fulfilled everyone selflessly. It was one of the reasons I could never forget him. No other man was such a gentleman in every aspect of his life. No man compared to my man.

But Peeta wasn't mine. Peeta hadn't been mine in almost four years. We had gone different ways. I had left him behind in the capital city I had wanted no more than to get away from. I remembered the look on his face and I lost myself.

_"I love you, Katniss." But I shook my head 'no'. "Don't tell me how I feel about you, because you don't know the half of it."_

_"You never tell me the half of it!" I quickly snapped. "I'm going, Peeta, you knew I was. I told you from the start that this was never going to work."_

_"I thought I could change your mind!" He countered, his breathing suddenly as erratic as mine as we stood in the stone-pathed driveway of Madge's summer house. We had been out there for ten minutes, on a walk back from town. It wasn't the most ideal moment in time, but Peeta needed to know that I wasn't planning on sticking around town, not even for him. It was almost the end of summer now; we only had a few more days left. _

_Peeta had told me his plans. He wasn't going to college, even though he had gotten accepted into every single one he had applied for. Peeta wanted to work full-time at his fathers bakery, learning the ropes at Snow's company and working himself along all of the networks. He knew my father worked for Snow, also, and had asked me if I wanted to do the same thing as him. I had turned him down. I was moving half-way across the country to attend college for the next four years. I didn't plan on returning for holidays. I wanted to focus on my studies and work. I didn't want to return home until afterwards. _

"Shh," Peeta's soothing voice hummed in my ear. "Did I hurt you?" He asked, stroking my hair. I shook my head. I hadn't even noticed I had been crying until he wiped the tears from my cheek. "Are you sure?" He asked, repositioning himself. He was still inside of me, not quite finished yet, but he cared enough to stop.

"I just missed you so much," I lied. Peeta smiled, slowly rocking his body into mine. I moaned some more, not exactly forced, but exaggerating for Peeta's sake. He needed this, I only wanted.

We fell asleep afterwards, not a word muttered between us.

We had sex several more times, ending up in the bedroom at some point during the night.

I woke to Peeta's baker smell: sugar and cinnamon. My nose was pressed so far into his chest that I couldn't breathe in anything else. It brought back more memories. Memories that weren't needed, so I rolled away. Stretching out my sore limbs, I noted that it was the first night in four years that I had had a peaceful night sleep. No nightmares, no waking up every other hour until I had to drag myself out of bed. Peaceful.

Peeta was still asleep, I noted. His unruly blonde curls were covering his eyes and most of the pillow around his head. With the light shining in through the open window he looked like an angel with an askew halo. A small smile played on my lips as I rolled out of bed. I found a comb in the bathroom, washing my face of my panda eyes and dragging it roughly through my hair. I tried to be as quiet as I could; sneaking back through the bedroom and getting dressed in the living room. The cushions from the sofa were loitering the floor where we had kicked them off. His clothes were still piled on the floor, but I decided to leave them. It wasn't my job to clean up after him.

I sighed to myself, double-checking that I had everything. Peeta still hadn't woken, which was good. I didn't want to face him. So I smoothed down my dress and opened the door, sneaking out into the hallway. No one else was around, so I confidently strode towards the elevator. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate, but all I could see were the blue eyes that planned to haunt for the rest of forever.

* * *

A/N: Well, that was...interesting.

I left this a little open ended just in case I ever felt the need to continue it into a story, because I do actually have a small idea forming in my head for it. I just have a lot of other stories to write first.

If this fanfiction had a fanfiction, I see Snow running a cult.  
No, seriously, that was the only thing I could think of while writing the first part of this XD

This is a time for a few firsts for me!

This is the first time in 19 months that I have written smut. This is the first time I have ever written Katniss and Peeta smut. This is also the first time I have written a oneshot this long. My oneshots are usually 3000 words or less. Usually less.

I originally got the idea for this from Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, but as I wrote I sort of ventured out on my own away from the song and...well, this is what became of it.

I am proud of the way this has turned out.

Thank you to Katie who actually helped me stay strong when writing this and thank you to Maddi who I would literally be nowhere without. Maddi also betad this, so extra love!

Thank you for reading, please review (:

Love, ChloeRhiannonX

**Message from Maddi:** I hate you so much Chloe. This is smut. Smut smut. And I'm sitting here beta-ing it for you while I'm talking to my grandfather.


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